Haaland's statistics are TERRIBLE - yet he's a generational striker

Paul Macdonald

• Updated: 23 May 2023 08:46 CDT
• 5 min read

From a broad statistical standpoint, Erling Haaland is a player modern clubs shouldn’t be buying.

Markers like 13.2 carries, progressive distance carried of 19.2 yards - just bigger than the penalty box - one dribble, minimal pressures and even less success, are the prototype of a penalty box forward from 25 years ago.

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Perhaps Ruud van Nistelrooy is the most obvious comparison from a previous iteration of football, where fitness, high press and constant desire to win the ball back in opponent territory was virtually unused and certainly not the identikit tactic of all leading teams.

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That’s where football is now, and yet that’s not where Haaland is at all. Here’s a man whose only interest is goals. And fortunately for him, he’s generational in that particular department.

Haaland doesn't fit modern game

Haaland is a unique statistical beast and perhaps that’s why it took time for City to complete their assessment of him. Without looking at direct goal contributions and assessing only his peripheral numbers, Haaland doesn’t fit the modern game AT ALL. He is in many ways the antithesis to a Pep Guardiola team, and yet it looks like - so far - being such an obvious partnership that it makes us wonder why it didn’t happen before now.

Look at his two goals against Sevilla in the Champions League on Tuesday. The first took a single glance from Kevin De Bruyne to create a carbon copy of their combination at Aston Villa on Saturday, slotting in from barely yards out from the goal. And the second, involved in a counter but only to make sure he indirectly got the ball returned to him via a goalkeeper parry, for his second of the night.

EVERY goal has been like this. Scrapping with Crystal Palace centre-backs to smash in, or lashing into the roof of the net against Newcastle, or bullying Nottingham Forest into submission. This is a man who lives for goals, who breathes goals, and who is absolutely, categorically, statistically, not interested whatsoever in anything else.

Let’s look at the evidence; in the Premier League Haaland is averaging 24.2 touches per 90 minutes played. That’s half as many as Arsenal’s Gabriel Jesus, 70% fewer than Mo Salah (43.8) and still 50% less than Fulham’s Aleksandr Mitrovic (36.8).

Of those touches, he averages 8.11 in the penalty box. Salah has 10.3, Jesus 10.5. But Haaland’s ratio of touches versus touches in the opposition area is 33.5%. Salah is 23.5%, Jesus 21.3%, even Mitrovic - a guy who should live in the box - is 16%. Haaland’s is, by a mammoth distance, the highest ratio in the league (min 300 mins played).

Haaland's insane scoring stats

And when he does touch it, oh boy. 2.62 shots on target P90 is easily the best in the Premier League. 0.36 goals per shot taken is light years ahead of the forward competition. Only Jesus (9.9 yards) rivals him in terms of how close to the goal he is when attempting to shoot (9.8 yards). His frankly ludicrous 1.26 non-penalty expected goals P90 is virtually double his rivals. And oh yeah. He’s tracking 1.86 goals P90. The sample size is small. This will come down. And even when it does, it’ll still be remarkable.

And that’s why the rest of his statistics are worth laughing about. Haaland has attempted one dribble in six games (and completed it, too). Jesus in comparison has attempted 27. He’s attempted one tackle. Interceptions, forget about it. Blocks, not his thing.

When it comes to his defensive statistics, the table is basically in grey. And although his assist numbers aren’t bad at all - he recorded 10 and eight respectively in all competitions in his last two seasons at Dortmund, he’s not exactly looking to feed in team-mates. He’s completed just 12.5 passes P90 this season.

Who the hell cares? Haaland is refreshing and he has refreshed City, making them more watchable into the bargain. City can, at times, look like they forget they are subjecting teams to the patented passing carousel, and are supposed to score a goal at the end of it. With a guy like Haaland around, they never forget, because he will remind them.

Haaland is to be relished because he is so single-minded, so lacking in multi-faceted abilities that it makes him more human and also more relentless at the same time. A forward who just loves to score and do literally nothing else. It’s great.